Stuck On Stupid

I was minding my own business

Wasn't hurting anyone

When a bolt of lightning hit me

Shining brighter than the sun

When my vision finally cleared

I saw heaven standing there

In a girl with deep brown eyes and raven hair

 

Well you robbed me of my senses

With that smile upon your face

And the sound of your voice

Took me to another place

You asked me for a token

To prove my heart was true

So I wrapped it up and offered it to you

 

I was shot by Cupid

And now I'm stuck on stupid

I left my heart where it don't belong

Now it's plain to see

That you'll never set it free

So I guess it's in the right place all along

 

I can't stand the space between us

It just cuts me like a knife

I have got to find a way

To take you from your double life

So we can be together always

Until the end of time

And I'll steal your heart the way that you stole mine

 

There's really no excuses left to make

I'll give you all the love that you can take

I need to have you right here next to me

And that's the way it has to be

Top (Bottom?) 10 Singles I Hate From Artists I Love

What the heck - I haven't done a list for a while. I was listening to my iPod the other day (I do full albums, and I don't shuffle) and a song so cringeworthy came on that I almost broke my hand trying to skip to the next song. It got me wondering: how can a band so awesome not only put out such crap as this, but actually release it as a single so as to inflict it upon the radio-listening public? So without further adieu...

Top (Bottom?) 10 Singles I Hate From Artists I Love

10. Led Zeppelin, "Candy Store Rock". From the album Presence. There weren't a lot of Led Zep songs released as singles (AOR stations usually played whatever they felt like from the album tracks) but this was an exceptionally odd choice, given that "Nobody's Fault But Mine" was an acceptable length for airplay ("Achilles' Last Stand" and "Tea For One" were too long) and directly before it on the same album.

9. The Who, "Don't Let Go The Coat". From the album Face Dances. The Who kind of jumped the shark after the death of Keith Moon. There were still flashes of brilliance - "You Better You Bet" and "Eminence Front" - on the two albums that followed. "Another Tricky Day" would have been a much better choice.

8. Metallica, "Frantic". From the album St. Anger. Given that I pretty much detest the entire album, this is not a huge shock.

7. Pink Floyd, "Not Now John". From the album The Final Cut. See #8.

6. Rush, “Virtuality”. From the album Test For Echo. Net boy, net girl? Gahhhh… Not the first song they have ruined with a lousy chorus, but sheesh. I guess it could have been worse – they could have released "Dog Years” instead.

5. Iron Maiden, “The Angel And The Gambler”. From the album Virtual XI. Never mind that Blaze Bailey was probably the worst possible replacement for Bruce Dickinson – seriously, who picks a new singer that can’t handle 2/3 of the band’s back catalogue? – but the album track repeats the refrain “Don’t you think I’m a savior; don’t you think I can save you; don’t you think I can save your life” XXII times! That’s two complete (virtual) football teams! The radio edit cuts out some of the excess (from 9:53) to make it marginally more listenable, but still…

4. Queen, “Body Language”. From the album Hot Space. I could have picked the excreble “Back Chat” (also a single) in its place, but coming off the brilliance that was The Game, the first single (and the horrible video that promoted it) was such a slap in the face to the Queen fanbase that it took years to salvage their reputation.

3. Kansas, “People Of The South Wind”. From the album Monolith. The song that inspired this list. Walsh, Livgren, and the boys channel their inner Village People. Yes, I know it’s about the Kanza tribe that gave the state (and the band) its name. But violins do not belong in a disco song, and disco songs do not belong on a Kansas album! And for God’s sake, don’t put it out as a single (which thankfully bombed) when the gorgeous “On The Other Side” is available.

2. Genesis, “Invisible Touch”. From the album of the same name. Yes, I know it’s their only #1 song. I still hate it. It’s the epitome of pop excess, and the wholesale rejection of the prog roots they came from when Peter Gabriel and Steve Hackett were part of the band.

Last, and least…

1. Elton John, “Candle In The Wind 1997”. #1 best selling single of all time. Words cannot possibly describe how much this song pisses me off. Sir Elton mangled his own beautiful tribute to Marilyn Monroe to rededicate it to the awful Princess Diana – the ‘80s version of Kim Kardashian, minus the added benefit of a sex tape. No, she did not deserve the media hounding she received, but neither did the simpering twit deserve the media adoration she got for marrying the (ostensibly) future King of England (who is actually a more decent guy than portrayed) and popping out a couple kids. Thankfully, EJ has placed a moratorium on performing the Diana version of Candle in concert.

Every Day I Thank God For You

The potatoes are thin, the turkey is dry

And I'm not wild about pumpkin pie

The cranberry sauce should have stayed in the can

And half of the stuffing's still stuck to the pan

Your aunt is ashamed that your uncle is drunk

And on the way here they ran over a skunk

And everyone thinks that our neighbor's a bore

But that doesn't change what I'm thankful for

After all is said and done

It's the perfect holiday

All the times we spend together

Blow the others all away

We have suffered so much heartache

But we pulled each other through

Every day I thank God for you

The stockings are hung by the chimney with care

They look a bit tattered and starting to tear

The eggnog is spiked, with what I can't tell

And the potpourri basket's beginning to smell

The ham is cold and the beer is warm

The yule log set off the smoke alarm

The hour is late but nobody will go

'Cause mom is perched under the mistletoe

All the Halloween parties

With coke and Bacardi

Barbeques on the 4th of July

Oh I hate entertaining

But I'm not complaining

And you are the reason why

I Will Wait For You

Sitting alone in a crowded room

Wondering if the time will come

Are you really going to be mine soon

Or is it over before it's begun

I don't know what to think

I don't know what to do

I don't know what I've gotten myself into

The only thing that I know

I'm in love with you

And so I promise you this

I will wait for you

If it takes a hundred years

I will wait for you

If it leaves me stranded in tears

There is no one else

In the whole wide world

That can make me feel like you do

I don't have a choice

I will wait for you

Maybe I'm making a big mistake

By giving a sense of security

And saying no matter how long it takes

There's no need to worry 'bout losing me

Take as long as you want

I'm not going nowhere

My heart will be always in your care

I don't know how to say

Any clearer than this

You're the only one for me

Honey please don't make me wait too long

Please don't make me wait until I'm dead and gone

I know we'll be together in the next life to come

But I want to live in this life too

What The Heart Wants

There's just so many times
You can tell yourself the lie
You can try to pretend
But the truth you can't deny
There's a fire burning in your soul
It's so hard to keep it in control
Is it finally time to give us a try

The heart wants what the heart wants
And it's never satisfied
'Til the heart gets what the heart wants
To fill the emptiness inside
It's the love that we share
And there's nothing can compare
Girl you know it's true
That what my heart wants is you

When I first met you girl
My heart began to sing
I found what I've been looking for
Through years of wandering
Just think of how our lives can be
If you take a leap of faith in me
And you find a love surpassing everything

Eventually you have to take the opportunity
To surrender to the promise of a life for you and me
'Cause together we're much greater than apart we'll ever be
So let's stay that way for all eternity

Cursillo Man

This goes out to all the BICs of LC148

 

Cursillo Man (to the tune of "Piano Man")

 

It's Seven O'clock on a Thursday night

The sponsors and pilgrims arrive

Three days without cell phones or internet

They wonder if they can survive

 

There's a guy sleeping in the bunk next to mine

He must have had beans 'fore he dozed

I've got plugs for my ears but man, I'm in tears

'Cause I really need some for my nose

 

Oh, la la la de colores

De colores se gustan a mi

 

Sing us a song, Cursillo Man

Sing praise to Jesus tonight

'Cause we're all in the mood for some worshipping

His love's got us feeling alright

 

There's a pretty big crowd in the dining room

The food's great and there's comic relief

There's some frogs and three pirates called Captain Crunch

Patch and Hans Parrot-Teeth

 

And some guys at the table are curious

They keep going outside for a smoke-a

Yes it's pretty absurd but they know all the words

To the Holy Spirit Polka

 

Oh, la la la de colores

De colores se gustan a mi

 

Well the prayer requests start a-flowing

And the weekend's beginning to gel

The ARs have everyone organized

They don't need no stinking bell

 

As the rollists get psyched for their testimony

Laying it out there with nothing to lose

While the cooks are all zapping the sacristan's napping

Inside on the chapel pews

 

Sing us a song, Cursillo Man

Sing praise to Jesus tonight

'Cause we're all in the mood for some worshipping

His love's got us feeling alright

 

Now Paul is a rector unflappable

He's as calm and as cool as can be

His 4th day's inspiring but I'm sure he's perspiring

On the inside where no one can see

 

And the poster party's incredible

You can do all the skits that you like

Yes the pastors can too, but whatever you do

Please God - don't give the Head SpiD the mic!

 

Sing us a song, Cursillo Man

Sing praise to Jesus tonight

'Cause we're all in the mood for some worshipping

His love's got us feeling alright

Empty Lines

Empty lines upon the page

Waiting patiently for me to fill them up

With words of love or words of rage

They don't care at all

Just want to see the letters fall

Giving them a reason to exist

 

Do I write what's on my heart

Is there even anything there at all

Ever since it fell apart

Have I had enough

Maybe I should give it up

Or do I keep on trying to resist

 

Can I fill these empty lines

Can I say what's on my mind

Empty words and empty promises

Are all I have since I was left behind

I can't stand these empty lines

Cause there is nothing on my mind

Empty hopes and empty dreams

My reality is somewhere in between

 

What am I supposed to feel

I'm just going through the motions now

Cause everything in life seems so unreal

Can I hope to find

Something to give me peace of mind

Or is this all that's left for me now

 

Nothing matters anymore

The sun stopped shining in the sky for me

The day that joy walked out the door

It's forever set

Filling me with deep regret

And sorrow's all that my heart will allow

My Muse

The paper lies awaiting

And the pen is in my hand

But my mind is as blank as the page

So I sit here contemplating

But I'll never understand

How there's only one thing that can set the stage

It's the one thing in my life that is true

It's the way that I feel about you

 

You are my muse

You are my everything

You give me words to write

And notes to play

And songs to sing

You're in my dreams

And every waking thought

The inspiration for creation

Girl you taught my heart

To let the music ring

 

My mind is getting clearer now

And a smile is on my face

As the melody comes pouring from my heart

There's so much for me to write about

Your beauty and your grace

And whether we're together or apart

The one thing you and I cannot deny

The love that we share will never die

In Your Hands

Here I am, the prodigal

The one who thought he knew it all

But never really understood

Before the fall

I'm crawling back upon my knees

To serve in any way you please

And praying to you for a cure

From this disease

The one that makes me try to hide

From the one who sees

 

My life is in your hands

Just like it's always been

And the only thing for me to do

Is surrender once again

Please hold me in your arms

And keep me in your plans

'Cause there's nowhere else on earth I'd rather be

Than forever in your hands

 

Here I am, the broken one

When everything just comes undone

And all my plans are doomed before

They have begun

Now I realize it's true

That I am nothing without you

And I have to give up my old self

For something new

To live my life to serve your glory

It's all that I can do

 

A Pause for Self-Reflection

The Boston Marathon was literally blown up last week. As of this writing, one of the bombers is dead, while the other is in the capable(?) hands of the FBI. Three people have been confirmed dead, including an 8-year-old boy. The news outlets, now that the excitement and bloodshed has come to a conclusion, have been trumpeting the stories of their lives in the most melodramatic way possible.   I cannot watch. I don't want to know who they were. I don't want to know their hopes and dreams, their plans for the future, the friends and family left behind. It's not that I lack compassion; it's that dwelling upon their pain fills me with a sense of hopelessness and rage. I cannot cope with it. I want to lash out at the world, and at God, not just for the injustice that they have suffered, but, sadly enough, for the pain and sorrow I have endured as well.   Is that selfishness on my part? Of course. Is it indicative of a lack of faith? I don't know. I feel like the disciples did when they were terrified of the storm, of the waves smashing their boat to bits, and so they wake Jesus and ask him to calm the seas. He does, and then proceeds to rebuke the disciples for thinking they were in danger in the first place.   Sometimes I feel like a man in the wilderness I'm a lonely sailor lost at sea Drifting with the tide Never quite knowing why Sometimes it makes no sense at all   That's me. Except in my case, I can't get the sleeping Jesus to wake up.   This is of course foolishness on my part. Jesus, or rather the Holy Spirit, is wide awake and watching my every move, providing guidance and protection, and telling me I am loved and safe in the Father's arms. I just wish I could hear his voice.   I hear the world just fine. I hear it telling me that it's okay to satisfy my own wants and desires, no matter who gets hurt in the process. I hear it telling me that I better get what I can out of life now, because my only shot of happiness in the future depends on it. I hear it telling me that to wait on the Lord means missing out on life. I hear it calling me to abandon (again) principles I once took pride in. Honesty. Integrity. Truth.   The world lies. Listening to those lies only leads to guilt, bitterness, and self-loathing. I can't do it anymore.   Once again, I vow to put my burdens in a big box, wrapped in shiny paper with a pretty bow on top, and leave the whole mess at the altar. Here Jesus, you deal with it.   It's not the first time I've done this. It won't be the last.   Good thing nobody reads this blog...

Bad Habits

The Devil made me do it

That's always the excuse

Every time I turn my back on you

But the fault is wholly mine

Whenever I choose

To do the things you don't want me to do

I don't know why I do

All the things to disappoint you

And I don't know why you love me anyway

 

(When) I fall into the same old bad habits

The same old bad choices

The same mistakes and compromises

That I always make

But you tell me I'm forgiven

And your arms are open wide

And you give me all the love that I can take

 

I'm tired of living with the guilt

That eats me up inside

When I think of all the bad things I have done

All the promises I've broken

All the truth that I denied

And every consequence from which I've run

So excuse me if I have

A little trouble understanding

Why you would even give me the time of day

 

There is nothing I can do

To make amends for hurting you

How can I say I'm sorry when

I know I'll do it all again

Apologies aren't good enough

To make me worthy of your love

But you give it anyway

And I don't know what to say

Strange

I was just a simple boy in search of someone

That I could share a life of simple dreams

Two story home with white picket fences

But life is not as easy as it seems

 

You weren't supposed to be the one I fell for

And I don't know what it is you see in me

My world is now extremely complicated

And I guess that's just the way it has to be

 

How did our lives get so strange?

How in the world will we cope with all the change?

What do we have to rearrange?

How did our lives get so strange?

 

I don't belong around your social circles

And you certainly aren't comfortable in mine

We go together like oil and water

But if opposites attract then we're fine

 

Let's make our own destiny

And together, you and me

We'll bend the world to fit to our desire

It don't matter what they say

Because I love you anyway

And our differences will only fuel the fire

Moving On

You were the one

And I knew from the start

I'd find a way

If I followed my heart

I was lost

When I looked into your eyes

I fell in love

So imagine my surprise

 

You told me you loved me

Then walked on out the door

You trampled my heart

And you left it on the floor

It hit me so hard

That I can barely stand

Now I'm doing the only thing I can

 

(chorus)

I'm moving on

But I'm leaving part of me behind

My trust and my innocence

They'll be left for someone else to find

Gonna chain up my heart

Can't afford to be kind

I'm moving on

If I can just get you out of my mind

 

I used to be

Such a boy among men

You'd come around

And you'd toy with me again

You promised me

Things too good to be true

But I believed

Every word that came from you

 

You know what you are

And you know what you've done

You made me believe

That I was the only one

You told me not to trust you

But I did it anyway

Now there's only one thing left for me to say

 

chorus

 

instrumental break - 16 measures

 

I guess I should thank you

For making me this way

Today I'm much smarter

Than I was yesterday

Cause now I know better

Than to believe the lies

The next time I fall into a pair of eyes

 

chorus

 

Keep On Reaching

The road is long and winding

And you don't know where it leads

But it's better than the place you're coming from

At the end of the rainbow

You'll find everything you need

Heaven only knows what dreams will come

Let your heartbeat be the beating of the drum

 

Keep on reaching for a star

And stay true to who you are

Don't you know that your time is coming soon

Give yourself a second chance

And don't be afraid to dance

Before too long the radio is gonna be

Playing your tune

 

Your happily ever after

Wasn't quite the way you planned

But your story still has chapters left to write

Just know that I have faith in you

And I'll always be your friend

So any time there's battles you must fight

Just call and I'll be right there by your side

 

Don't give up and don't give in

The power you need is there within

You're stronger now than you have ever been

 

Fall Into Me

I was dreaming in a world of twilight

Filled with shades of gray

Stuck inside a time of way back when

Then I awoke to living color

When I saw your face

You showed me it's okay to love again

 

Fall into me like I fell into you

Surrender yourself to a love that is true

Give me your heart like I gave mine to you

I will keep it safe

Come to me now, here in my arms

Holding you close and sheltered from harm

Giving you peace, cozy and warm

I will love you all my days

 

You've been looking to escape from

The chains around your heart

Afraid of what it means to be free

Now the door is open

But you don't know where to start

Instead of holding back hold onto me

 

I was captured in the moment that I looked into your eyes

And as I fell ever deeper I began to realize

That my life was changed forever; there can be no compromise

'Cause I can't live without your love