Cursillo Man

This goes out to all the BICs of LC148

 

Cursillo Man (to the tune of "Piano Man")

 

It's Seven O'clock on a Thursday night

The sponsors and pilgrims arrive

Three days without cell phones or internet

They wonder if they can survive

 

There's a guy sleeping in the bunk next to mine

He must have had beans 'fore he dozed

I've got plugs for my ears but man, I'm in tears

'Cause I really need some for my nose

 

Oh, la la la de colores

De colores se gustan a mi

 

Sing us a song, Cursillo Man

Sing praise to Jesus tonight

'Cause we're all in the mood for some worshipping

His love's got us feeling alright

 

There's a pretty big crowd in the dining room

The food's great and there's comic relief

There's some frogs and three pirates called Captain Crunch

Patch and Hans Parrot-Teeth

 

And some guys at the table are curious

They keep going outside for a smoke-a

Yes it's pretty absurd but they know all the words

To the Holy Spirit Polka

 

Oh, la la la de colores

De colores se gustan a mi

 

Well the prayer requests start a-flowing

And the weekend's beginning to gel

The ARs have everyone organized

They don't need no stinking bell

 

As the rollists get psyched for their testimony

Laying it out there with nothing to lose

While the cooks are all zapping the sacristan's napping

Inside on the chapel pews

 

Sing us a song, Cursillo Man

Sing praise to Jesus tonight

'Cause we're all in the mood for some worshipping

His love's got us feeling alright

 

Now Paul is a rector unflappable

He's as calm and as cool as can be

His 4th day's inspiring but I'm sure he's perspiring

On the inside where no one can see

 

And the poster party's incredible

You can do all the skits that you like

Yes the pastors can too, but whatever you do

Please God - don't give the Head SpiD the mic!

 

Sing us a song, Cursillo Man

Sing praise to Jesus tonight

'Cause we're all in the mood for some worshipping

His love's got us feeling alright

Empty Lines

Empty lines upon the page

Waiting patiently for me to fill them up

With words of love or words of rage

They don't care at all

Just want to see the letters fall

Giving them a reason to exist

 

Do I write what's on my heart

Is there even anything there at all

Ever since it fell apart

Have I had enough

Maybe I should give it up

Or do I keep on trying to resist

 

Can I fill these empty lines

Can I say what's on my mind

Empty words and empty promises

Are all I have since I was left behind

I can't stand these empty lines

Cause there is nothing on my mind

Empty hopes and empty dreams

My reality is somewhere in between

 

What am I supposed to feel

I'm just going through the motions now

Cause everything in life seems so unreal

Can I hope to find

Something to give me peace of mind

Or is this all that's left for me now

 

Nothing matters anymore

The sun stopped shining in the sky for me

The day that joy walked out the door

It's forever set

Filling me with deep regret

And sorrow's all that my heart will allow

My Muse

The paper lies awaiting

And the pen is in my hand

But my mind is as blank as the page

So I sit here contemplating

But I'll never understand

How there's only one thing that can set the stage

It's the one thing in my life that is true

It's the way that I feel about you

 

You are my muse

You are my everything

You give me words to write

And notes to play

And songs to sing

You're in my dreams

And every waking thought

The inspiration for creation

Girl you taught my heart

To let the music ring

 

My mind is getting clearer now

And a smile is on my face

As the melody comes pouring from my heart

There's so much for me to write about

Your beauty and your grace

And whether we're together or apart

The one thing you and I cannot deny

The love that we share will never die

In Your Hands

Here I am, the prodigal

The one who thought he knew it all

But never really understood

Before the fall

I'm crawling back upon my knees

To serve in any way you please

And praying to you for a cure

From this disease

The one that makes me try to hide

From the one who sees

 

My life is in your hands

Just like it's always been

And the only thing for me to do

Is surrender once again

Please hold me in your arms

And keep me in your plans

'Cause there's nowhere else on earth I'd rather be

Than forever in your hands

 

Here I am, the broken one

When everything just comes undone

And all my plans are doomed before

They have begun

Now I realize it's true

That I am nothing without you

And I have to give up my old self

For something new

To live my life to serve your glory

It's all that I can do

 

A Pause for Self-Reflection

The Boston Marathon was literally blown up last week. As of this writing, one of the bombers is dead, while the other is in the capable(?) hands of the FBI. Three people have been confirmed dead, including an 8-year-old boy. The news outlets, now that the excitement and bloodshed has come to a conclusion, have been trumpeting the stories of their lives in the most melodramatic way possible.   I cannot watch. I don't want to know who they were. I don't want to know their hopes and dreams, their plans for the future, the friends and family left behind. It's not that I lack compassion; it's that dwelling upon their pain fills me with a sense of hopelessness and rage. I cannot cope with it. I want to lash out at the world, and at God, not just for the injustice that they have suffered, but, sadly enough, for the pain and sorrow I have endured as well.   Is that selfishness on my part? Of course. Is it indicative of a lack of faith? I don't know. I feel like the disciples did when they were terrified of the storm, of the waves smashing their boat to bits, and so they wake Jesus and ask him to calm the seas. He does, and then proceeds to rebuke the disciples for thinking they were in danger in the first place.   Sometimes I feel like a man in the wilderness I'm a lonely sailor lost at sea Drifting with the tide Never quite knowing why Sometimes it makes no sense at all   That's me. Except in my case, I can't get the sleeping Jesus to wake up.   This is of course foolishness on my part. Jesus, or rather the Holy Spirit, is wide awake and watching my every move, providing guidance and protection, and telling me I am loved and safe in the Father's arms. I just wish I could hear his voice.   I hear the world just fine. I hear it telling me that it's okay to satisfy my own wants and desires, no matter who gets hurt in the process. I hear it telling me that I better get what I can out of life now, because my only shot of happiness in the future depends on it. I hear it telling me that to wait on the Lord means missing out on life. I hear it calling me to abandon (again) principles I once took pride in. Honesty. Integrity. Truth.   The world lies. Listening to those lies only leads to guilt, bitterness, and self-loathing. I can't do it anymore.   Once again, I vow to put my burdens in a big box, wrapped in shiny paper with a pretty bow on top, and leave the whole mess at the altar. Here Jesus, you deal with it.   It's not the first time I've done this. It won't be the last.   Good thing nobody reads this blog...

Bad Habits

The Devil made me do it

That's always the excuse

Every time I turn my back on you

But the fault is wholly mine

Whenever I choose

To do the things you don't want me to do

I don't know why I do

All the things to disappoint you

And I don't know why you love me anyway

 

(When) I fall into the same old bad habits

The same old bad choices

The same mistakes and compromises

That I always make

But you tell me I'm forgiven

And your arms are open wide

And you give me all the love that I can take

 

I'm tired of living with the guilt

That eats me up inside

When I think of all the bad things I have done

All the promises I've broken

All the truth that I denied

And every consequence from which I've run

So excuse me if I have

A little trouble understanding

Why you would even give me the time of day

 

There is nothing I can do

To make amends for hurting you

How can I say I'm sorry when

I know I'll do it all again

Apologies aren't good enough

To make me worthy of your love

But you give it anyway

And I don't know what to say

Strange

I was just a simple boy in search of someone

That I could share a life of simple dreams

Two story home with white picket fences

But life is not as easy as it seems

 

You weren't supposed to be the one I fell for

And I don't know what it is you see in me

My world is now extremely complicated

And I guess that's just the way it has to be

 

How did our lives get so strange?

How in the world will we cope with all the change?

What do we have to rearrange?

How did our lives get so strange?

 

I don't belong around your social circles

And you certainly aren't comfortable in mine

We go together like oil and water

But if opposites attract then we're fine

 

Let's make our own destiny

And together, you and me

We'll bend the world to fit to our desire

It don't matter what they say

Because I love you anyway

And our differences will only fuel the fire