Lost in the Wilderness

I thought that I was listening to you
I thought that I was walking straight and true
But when I look back upon my life I see
The one that I was listening to was me

So here I am, lonely and confused
Broken down with nothing left to lose
Praying for forgiveness from my sin
And begging you to rescue me again

I am lost in the wilderness
And I need you to come and find me
My life is a terrible mess
And I need you now to guide me
I can't seem to find the way alone
And I know only you can lead me home
On the path of righteousness

My pride is what has led me to this place
So I lay it down and humbly seek your face
And commit myself to follow you this time
That the will I serve is yours instead of mine

Chorus

I can do all things
With the strength you give to me
But I've fastened myself up in chains
Only you can set me free

Chorus

Golden Fist

Time is growing short for the man

With the belt around his waist

The list of pretenders to the throne

Is getting hard to face

They claim he's over the hill

But they know he's undefeated still

And they can't wait to take the title away

From the man with the golden fist

 

Some say the kid is ready

But no one knows for sure

For the number one contender

The title's a big lure

But he knows he won't be king

Until he steps into the ring

To meet the the man who they call champion

The man with the golden fist

 

The ruler's days are numbered

The writing's on the wall

He's been measured and found wanting

And he's headed for a fall

The only thing that's missing

Is someone to heed the call

'Cause he's battled through them all

 

This fight will be the last one

You can see it in his eyes

His body has betrayed him

Time has claimed its prize

But he never will retire

Because his heart still holds the fire

And the passion of a hero

The man with the golden fist

 

The crowd looks on in silence

As the doctors rush the floor

He's lying still and lifeless

He'll rise again no more

And no one thinks to sing

The king is dead, long live the king

But you can read it in the papers

A requiem for the golden fist

 

There will never be another

Man with the golden fist

Writer's Block

It's something that every writer experiences, and something that nearly every writer writes about. The dreaded Writer's Block. In my case, it's song lyrics - I don't like to post something that's not complete, and I have half a dozen songs in various stages of undone-ity. One song might have verses and chorus, but no bridge. Another might just be a chorus. Another a snippet of an idea, but no real structure behind it.

 

One song that has been dominating my creative headspace for the past month or so was the first song (really, just a couple verses) I ever wrote, some 25-30 years ago, after discovering Rush. Moving Pictures has just come out, and it was musical nirvana to my teenage ears. So, almost out of nowhere, I penned a bit of ultra cheese about an aging boxing (it was bigger then) champion coming to the end of his career.

 

I have come to the sad conclusion that I am going to have to finally finish this thing and get it out of my skull before I can move on with other stuff, so that's going to be my next post - I actually have in idea of where it needs to go now. Like Victor Hugo, who took 30 years off in the middle of Les Miserables, it's taken me 30 years to finish this. I promise not to write eight chapters about the Parisian sewer system, however.

 

Seems like 30 - Could you ask as much from any other man?

 

But as you the (nonexistent) reader point out, not everything I post is a song lyric. Why couldn't I post a rant about what's going on in my life? Well... it's a long story.

 

That's part of the problem. The long story isn't finished yet. As I said before, I don't like to post things that aren't complete. This isn't a diary - what I write should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. And so far, there has been no end in sight. So far. That might change soon.

 

Why so damn cryptic? Confidentiality. How do I write about people who are (and known by other) occasional readers of this blog? I don't know that I will ever be able to tell the story, or even hint about it.

 

Expect to see a rant sometime in the near future. I'm going through a move, and not only am I hemorraging money, but I'm turning gray in the process. At any rate, I'm more than a little disgusted that this is my first post of 2011, and the year is more than half over. C'est la vie.

His Today (Dedicated to...)

Don't hide your face

There is no need for you to be ashamed

God sends his grace

To everyone who calls upon his name

He will leave the ninety-nine to come and find you

There is no one so far gone he can't redeem

And the joy of his salvation will bring purpose to your life

And the hope of resolution for your dreams

 

(Chorus)

You were broken as a child

And the pain has grown inside you

While the ones supposed to care for you

Just looked the other way

Let me lead you to the Lord

And the love that's waiting for you

Will pour upon you like a flood

And wash your tears away

Come to Christ and listen to him say

You are his today

 

I can't begin

To be the friend I wish that I could be

I have my sins

And I know I let you down repeatedly

But I'll lay down my life if I have to

To keep you safe and free from harm

How could I do less when that's what Jesus did for me

So let him be your shelter from the storm

 

Chorus

 

Christ knows your pain

Cause he bore it on the cross

And conquered the power of the grave

He lights the way

For the weak and the lost

And there is no one that he cannot save

 

Chorus

 

Always Faithful

Long before I knew myself
You knew me
You gave me more than life itself
You saved me

When I stumble, when I fall
You will see me through it all
Always faithful, always true
All I can do
Is live for you

Without you Lord I cannot stand
You lift me
Your love I'll never understand
You bless me

You said you'd always be my friend
You'd be with me until the end
Always faithful, always true
All I can do
Is live for you

Always faithful (Always faithful)
Always faithful (always faithful)
Always wonderful and true
Always faithful (always faithful)
Always faithful (always faithful)
Your love will lead me back to you

Always faithful, always true
I can't believe the things you do
Always faithful, always true
All I can do
Is live for you

Always faithful, always true
Your love will always see me through
Always faithful, always true
All I can do
Is live for you

He Was Here

I was happy
To do for myself
Never needed anyone
To hold my hand

I had a mansion
Of achievement
But it's foundation was made
Of shifting sand

And when it started crashing down
For all the world to see
I began to hear of voice call out to me

He was here inside of me
And there he stood with open arms inviting me
He was here in spite of me
And I'll never know the reason of
The gift of his unending love
The only thing I know is he was here

I hit rock bottom
And started digging
All the habits in my life
Assumed control

I couldn't stand it
Any longer
I just had to find some help
To heal my soul

It was then I got down off my feet
And onto bended knee
And called upon the Lord to set me free

Chorus

Society tells us the power is within
There is no need to wish upon a star
But you can tell Oprah and People Magazine
That they don't know just how right they are

'Cause he is here inside of me
And there he stands with open arms inviting me
He is here in spite of me
And I'll never know the reason of
The gift of his unending love
The only thing I know is he is here

Here
He was and is
And always will be here

The DMV Chronicles

Last week I took off from work early to cart the teenager over to the DMV so he could take the written test and get his learner's permit. This in itself is proof positive of two undeniable facts; I'm getting old (which really needed no further confirmation, thank you very much) and I am a glutton for punishment.

We rolled in and were greeted by a line of about 50 or so people extending out the door and around the side of the building. In a not unrelated development, there was absolutely no available parking. Had the dumbasses in line made appointments (like the one that we were in imminent danger of missing) then they wouldn't have had to stand in line and I wouldn't have had to circle the parking lot three times before finally giving up and parking at the gas station across the street. I really hate people sometimes.

After convincing the security puke to let us in the fun began in earnest. First of all, it was more crowded than I've ever seen, and smelled like it too. Considering the thankless (but extremely well compensated) jobs the people there were performing, they weren't as surly and sullen as could be expected, especially since their clientele wasn't the sharpest, as evidenced by the failure to mail in their registration paperwork on time, or to make a bloody appointment! Bitter? Yes I am.

Stand in this line. Fill this out. Go wait over there until your number is called.

A half hour later, it finally was. Good thing too, because if I had to listen to the screaming baby with the indifferent mom for one more second I was going to commit random acts of violence upon personnel and property. Which would have been unfortunate as it would have delayed the process longer. I had somewhere to be later; the police station wasn't it.

Another line, this time to receive the testing materials. Progress! More waiting, this time with no place to sit.

6 missed out of 46. 8 allowed. I am now the proud parent of a semi-licensed driver. My life has officially become more complicated.

I am so not ready for this.