God is a Cat Person

I like dogs, but I've always been a cat person at heart. Cats have free will; dogs don't. You can be an abusive bastard, and your dog will still love you. It's wired into his DNA.

A cat won't put up with that kind of bullshit. If your cat loves you, it proves you are worthy to be a pet owner.

This observation explains my own personal theology. Why did God give us free will? Why did he give us the ability to disobey him, knowing ahead of time that we would?

Because we are cats, not dogs. If we were dogs, we would still love him even if he were a shitty God. It would not glorify him if we were to love him without the ability to do otherwise.

But we are cats. We love God not because it is programmed into us, but because he has proven himself worthy of our love. This gives him the glory that he both craves, and deserves. Our worship is only meaningful because we have the capacity to not worship him.

GOD IS A CAT PERSON.

When I'm Gone

I spent the day dressed in black

As we came to say goodbye

To an old familiar friend

I heard the people speak

And tried hard not to cry

 

And the thoughts came to my head

At times like these they often do

I can't help but wonder

What if it was me

Would the tears that we were crying still be true

 

What will they say when I'm gone

Did I make a good impression

Touch the heart of anyone

Did I live my life the way I should

Did I act with good intention

Did I do all that I could

When I die will they miss me

Or shrug their shoulders and move on

Tell me what

Will they say

When I'm gone

 

Walking softly on the grass

To a bit of hallowed ground

Where my father's body lay

I came to say hello

But cannot make a sound

 

In the end I have to ask

If he would be proud of me

"Cause all I ever wanted

For a legacy

Is to be half the man he used to be

 

I have tried to make a difference

In the lives of those I loved

Be the kind of friend I wish I had

When I was growing up

Be a good husband and father

Do my best when times got tough

Please tell me

Has it been enough

 

I spent the day dressed in black...

 

[updated 12/9/2016]

Overcome Me

I need your help today
'Cause I can't help myself
I try in vain to do things my own way
But only end up hurting someone else

I've spent my whole life as
My own worst enemy
I've wrapped myself in so many chains
The you're the only one to set me free

You've overcome the world
Now overcome me
I stumble in the darkness
'Cause I'm too blind to see
Your plans are so much greater
Than mine could ever be
You've overcome the world
Please overcome me

I don't want to be
The cause of others' sin
Better that I go off by myself
If that's the way the healing can begin

I'll stay inside my shell
Where I can do no harm
Until the day when you have made me well
And given me a shelter from the storm

I have caused so much pain
To the ones that I love
And there's no way I can make it right
So I ask you today
Send your grace from above
And open my eyes so I see the light

Give Me A Reason

The feeling's coming once again

The memories invade and then

The weight of all my past mistakes

Comes crashing over me

Don't know how much more I can take

Before something in me breaks

And I fall apart in pieces

For all the world to see

 

I am calling out to you

Because it's all that I can do

 

God, give me a reason to survive

Give me a place where I can hide

Give me something I can hold on to

So I don't lay down and die

Give me a reason to believe

In the things that I can't see

Send your angel now to hold me

And your love to set me free

 

Am I crying out for help

Or feeling sorry for myself

Or is there really any difference

Looking through your eyes

Now my faith just seems too weak

To find the answers that I seek

Is your mercy great enough

For you to hear my cries

 

I'm tired of wearing a brave face

While I'm waiting for some grace

And wondering if it's ever going to show

Now I'm begging you today

To send a miracle my way

Because I won't be here tomorrow

Here With Me (for PT)

I have walked a million miles

And I've seen a million things

Spent the fullness of my life

In the shadow of your wings

 

Every step along the way

You've been there to hold my hand
Though I didn't always see

Now I finally understand

 

You are here with me

As I walk through the valley

You're here with me

As I climb the mountain tall

You're here with me

With every step of the journey

You're here with me

To pick me up when I fall

You're everywhere I go

In everything I see

Lord may you always be

Here with me

 

There is nothing that can take

Away the love you've given me

It's the thing that fuels my heart

And it will eternally

 

Across every bridge

Behind every door

You're there on the other side

Your light shining through

To banish the dark

There's nowhere that it can hide

Every Time I Turn Around

I am Judas, the betrayer

I turn my back upon you every day

But when I come to you in prayer

You open up your arms and bid me stay

You're always there to catch me when I fall

You're always there to see me through it all

 

Every time I turn around you're standing right behind me

Every time I try to run away you always find me

After all my broken promises and bridges that I burn

You're still there every time I turn around

 

I am Thomas, always doubting

Why do I find it so hard to believe

And even when the proof is shouting

The truth is sometimes so hard to conceive

But your patience and compassion tell me true

I see it every time I look at you

 

I am Peter and Matthew and Simon and James

And the rest of your unruly band

I am trying to follow, but scared just the same

'Cause there's so much I don't understand

How the love still pours from your hand

ReLenting

Every year I get asked what I'm giving up for Lent. Well, for one thing, I'm not Catholic. I don't have to give up anything. (No meatless Fridays for me.) Yes, my church does observe Lent, but more as a call to repentance and a time to prepare spiritually for Holy Week. Typically it involves me giving up shaving, not as any kind of observance or ritual, but as a way to have a nice shaggy beard when I play a disciple in our annual play.

A few years ago I decided to play along and tried going off caffeine. Holy crap, what an ordeal! Three weeks of migraine headaches before I finally gave up and stopped torturing myself. I told myself that I would never again subject myself to such a pointless exercise. Who am I doing this for anyways?

Matthew 6:5 And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.

I still get asked though, and I usually have a standard joking response - "Celibacy." But this year is different. You see, I've spent the last year and a half pissed off about an ongoing situation beyond my control. I've finally decided to just let it go and not worry about it anymore. I still don't think it's right, but it's no longer my problem. I removed myself from the situation; now it's time to remove the anger and bitterness from my life - put it in a box, wrap it up in shiny paper and a bow, and leave it at the altar.

Here, Jesus. You take it. I don't want it anymore.

Living Water

Help me seek so I can find

And learn to ask for what is mine

Teach me to knock upon your door

And praise your name forevermore

 

The other things to which I've turned

Have left me cold, have left me burned

They can't compare with what you give

For you I'd die, for you I'll live

 

Lord fill me up with your living water

'Cause I never want to thirst again

All the wells that I try have all run dry

And I need what comes from God, not men

 

There is naught that I can do

To earn the love that comes from you

Nothing I have is worth a thing

If it's not from you, my king

 

Teach me to put no other gods before you

And to love my neighbor as myself

Let my heart and soul and mind adore you

And my eyes to look at nowhere else

Grace Abounding

Create in me the cleanest heart

And give my soul a brand new start

Don't want to be cast away

It's by your side I want to stay

 

Lift me to a higher place

And let me feel your saving grace

So I can teach and be a guide

To bring more people to your side 

 

I want to die to the power of sin and death
I want to live for the one who gives me breath
I want to be an example of righteousness
And grace abounding
Sing to the glory of his name
Who lifted me from the depths of my guilt and shame
Invited me into a kingdom I could not claim
And turned my life around

Deliver me from guiltiness

And I will sing your righteousness

O let my lips be open to

Shouts of joy and praise to you

 

What can I give to you in love

Things of this world are not enough

A broken heart, the highest price

I give to you in sacrifice

 

I was broken down in pieces

My soul was scattered 'cross the floor

Now I owe my life to Jesus

And he is what I'm living for

Fight The Good Fight

You're feeling like the whole world is against you
You don't see any point in the struggle anymore
Your enemies have won and left you broken
You wish you would have quit long before

The battle lost, the war still continues
And even though it seems that there is no way to compete
You have the perfect weapon in your corner
And Christ will make your victory complete

Fight the good fight
Take hold of your faith
You are called to face the challenges
To carry on in truth and grace
He'll stand by your side
And give you the strength
You will find in him all you ever need
If you seek his face

You bear the scars of pain and disappointment
And the times that you've been told that you're not worth much at all
But what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger
And Jesus picks you up when you fall

He'll see you through the trials and tribulations
And the times it seems like all your hope is gone
He'll give you courage and the perserverance
To keep on going til the race is won

Let This Be The Year

I know you've had your share of disappointments

The past is not the way it should have been

You're tired of the hand that fate has dealt you

And looking for a way to start again

 

I know that we're not getting any younger

And I dream about the future we will find

So as I watch the ball drop from the comfort of my easy chair

A new year's resolution comes to mind

 

Let this be the year

That we find a way to make it happen

Let this be the year

That we go the extra mile

Let this be the year

That we vow to spend our lives together

Let this be the year

That I walk you down the aisle

I want to share with you each hope and joy

Each sorrow and each tear

Oh baby, let this be the year

 

My life was changed the first time that I saw you

You smiled at me and took hold of my heart

There's no way I could ever live without you

I suffer with each day we spend apart

 

The hours we're not together pass so slowly

I want to spend forever by your side

So tell me by the next broadcast of New Year's Rockin' Eve

I'll finally get a chance to kiss the bride